Last year on this same day, I wore my “bubuyog” shades to work.
Can’t show how my eyes looked like.
Today I am not wearing them but I don’t think you would want to look into my eyes.
You may not be ready for what you will see.
I know…
because I still ain’t.

*Soundtrack of the moment: Antipara by The Itchyworms.

What is costochondritis?

Costochondritis is an inflammation of the junctions where the upper ribs join with the cartilage that holds them to the breastbone or sternum. Costochondritis causes mild to severe pain in the lower rib area or upper breastbone. Some patients fear they are having a heart attack. The most severe pain is usually in the lower rib area between the breast and upper abdomen. The pain may be more noticeable in sitting or reclining positions, and stress is known to aggravate this condition. Stress may aggravate this condition. Generally the third or fourth ribs are affected. However, any of the seven costochondral junctions may be affected, and more often than not more than one site is involved. The inflammation can involve cartilage areas on both sides of the sternum, but usually is on one side only.

–ahhh..ok..so hindi pa naman ako mamamatay? hehehehehe…

Ano bang bago? Hmmmm..

____________________

31 December 2006
7:15pm

Mini-truck; travelling along Daang Hari to Lolo’s place for our New Year’s celebration.

May mga nabago ng bahagya ang itsura, pero mas maraming nagbago ng ugali. Parang mga "matured young adults" na talaga. Yiesssssss…Malamang! Halos lahat kami 23 na! Dapat lang siguro. 3 years na lang homecoming na ng batch. Gudlak sa ating mga over-all officers (di ba Kate?), sa Quadrangle na lang natin gawin! Wahahahaha!!

____________________

03 January 2007

10:01am

Sa blue and puple walled room ko (sowsyal!)

____________________

15 January 2007

12:42am

Sa sowsyal ko pa ding room

Mabuhay ka sis! Naaamoy ko na ang dollars na padadala mo sa akin! I’m so proud of you! This is it! Congratulations! Kainan na!

Eto na, simula na. Pers Istep.

.

.

.

.

Pero bago ang lahat…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Wehehehehe…                                                                                                               

*Mga chuva na galing ke Boy. Salamat nanjan ka. *hugs*

*****

Antagal mag-December 10.

____________________

Totoo nga ba na pag sumakay ka ng Asian, pagdating mo dun Spirit ka na lang?

____________________

Ang Erpats ko busy-busyhan kasi "may I handyman" siya dun sa bagong bahay na lilipatan namin.

____________________

Excited na ang Familia Minlay para makapag-decorate para sa Pasko. Usually after mag-Undas naggagayak na para sa Christmas, eh dahil nga lilipat kami kaya sabi ng Ermats, dun na lang daw.

Royal blue at silver pa din ang motif ng Christmas namin. Gusto ko na talaga mag-decorate kasi nadi-disappoint ako sa Ayala Avenue, ang lamlam ng mga parol. Buset! Tas ang mga buildings..hay asan na ba ang early Christmas Spirit?

_______________________

Fwend Lance, naker…lalo tuloy ako kinabahan. haha..Pa-suspense ito. Basta, we have the entire 2007 to look forward to. Walang makakapigil sa atin! Let’s go my fwend whom I share an unbreakable vow with. Haha! Hello daw sabi ni Boy. Ikaw pa lang may kilala sa kanya eh. (Adik!)

Nga pala Fwend, gaya-gaya lang ng reaction un..Sa akin nag-originate ung reaction na un, ewan ko kung paano niya nasabi syo un ng una. (**NR**)

____________________

Ano kayang dalawang kulay maganda ipinta sa room ko? Sa pintuan? Purple at blue na stripes sa lahat ng walls o isang solid block of colors bawat wall? Ayaw ni Ermats ng black kahit sa door. Can’t make up my mind. Gaano ko kaya katagal pipintahan un? Tutulong daw si Utol at Erpats..Berigud! hehehe.

___________________

Salamat sa mga kapatid na nasa bansang Hapon. PANALO ANG CHRISTMAS GIFT NIYO SA AKIN TOL AT SIS! TENCHU! AWUBYU! May listahan na ako ng mga songs at artists na ilalagay ko. Hehe. Excited!

__________________

To hell with add-ons! Gudlak syo! Nanjan na ko. Wahahahaha…

salamat LOUISE.

salamat JEWEL.

at sa mga nauna pa sa inyo.

ngayon,may kasabay sa buhay ko si LYRA.

bitbit ko lagi si BOY kasi maloloka ako pag hindi,

puede na siyang replacement spongha,

kesa naman chuva.

________________________________________________________

gusto ko ng mag-december 10.

una na ako syo ha.

sama ka? (asa-ness!!! wahahahahaha)

Twilight has settled.
Yuletide chill in the air,
A deserted street
A solitary figure looking up–
In her eyes she saw
the magnificent, full moon.
Oh mysterious muse of the nighttime sky!
In her heart, the moon, the goddess
is smiling down at her.
She closes her eyes,
she feels safe as the moon
lulls her with a celestial embrace
that she thinks is only meant for her;
"Hush now my child,
be still, don’t cry."
She opens her eyes,
a slow smile spreading across her face.
She knows now that she will be fine.
She knows that wherever the wind takes her,
her mythical mother, the moon
would be there to
shine her light upon her;
Firing up the courage,
Melting away the doubts,
Crushing the fear into tiny pieces.
She knows now, she will never
ever be alone
because she has her moon to keep her sane.
All she needs is to look up
and be lost forever in that embrace.

1 man.

1 woman.

an extraordinary duo.

numerous trials.

several triumphs.

moments of blithe.

moments of sadness.

a few almost separation-

but not quite.

27 years…

their symbol? sculpture.

4 sons…

1 goddess…(ehem-ehem)

2 granddaughters…

1 grandson…

Congratulations Rodel and Precy! Dalawampung-pitong taon na kayo naglolokohan, parang totoo ah…PANALO! Salamat sa lahat at sana pag kinasal ako, balak ko sa ika-tatlumpung anibersaryo ng inyong kasal, sabay na yung kasal ko. GUDLAK! Wahahahaha!!!

(kalembangggggg…kalembanggggg…)

Signs are everywhere.

It is rather funny actually…

Especially when you didn’t ask for them.

Haha.

A woman’s sense of self is defined through her feelings and the quality of her relationships.

This thought kept echoing in my mind when I read John Gray’s Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (I’m not done reading it just yet but I already have highlighted parts here and there. Hehe.) I can’t help but laugh and say "Oo nga noh…" when I read some of the points he had raised.

A woman is like a wave. Women rise and fall in their ability to love themselves and others. 

These past few months had been so (as in sooooooooo) stressful for me that it has taken its toll on my health, my skin, and my mental and emotional state. I looked at the mirror, read through my journals and thought, “I have to collect myself. I need to have a breather. I deserve it. It is my right to think about no one else but myself, for a change. Indeed, for a change.” I felt it was high time I have a general cleaning of all the emotional pollution in my mind and heart.

Women need to be responsible for their own happiness. 

I realized there is absolutely no need to carry everybody’s burden on my shoulders. My mom used to nag me, and is still nagging me now about how I should do “pasok sa isang tenga tapos labas sa kabila” when everyone tells me his or her problems. I always tell her that I can’t help it if she raised me up to be the sensitive person that I am. It is her fault actually. (Wahahaha) But then as I meditate and see where my life is going, now that I will yet again be a year older, I felt I was missing out on a lot of things because I expect everyone to even the score. Of how I am always there for them and then end up being disappointed and hurt because I feel abandoned. Then Dr. Gray comes into my life saying, I am supposed to even the score. I need to keep it even by regulating how much I give.

On the road to self-rediscovery…

My instincts told me, I needed to do this. I needed to be happy alone. Independent of anyone else, independent of anyone who can get too close and end up bringing considerable sadness to my young life. I have learned a great deal from life already. Met a lot of interesting people who had swiftly passed by my life and those who have left footprints in my heart. To life I am eternally grateful. I hope I will be able to live out my life to the fullest until I am old and gray. Without regrets, no nothing. And with this new realization, I face life anew. I plan to rediscover the woman of spunk that was Melissa because she is the master of her fate, the captain of her soul. J